December 2014
Feb. 3rd, 2018 04:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
strixalbaI found a thing I'd written about back at the end of 2014, and I wanted to put it here because it's nice. It made me happy to remember it.
This isn’t really anything. I can’t really tell it as a fun uni story, because it’s pointless and there’s no drama or conflict. It was just unexpectedly perfect, best-case scenario that I normally just daydream about.
Sunday was my last day in the city where I go to university, and I won’t be going back for three months. On my last day, I went to lunch with two friends, Karla (we almost dated, there was poor communication and it never went anywhere, we’re still really close), and Raul (who was my supervisor at a summer job, and I had a weird crush on him for a while that’s mostly gone). We went shopping for a while afterwards, which was chaotic, and then I asked if they knew of any beaches nearby. We walked about a mile down a very pretty tree-lined avenue until we reached a wealthy residential area, with a big quiet park. We went to the edge of the park, where there was a perimeter path, an area about 10m from the path that was dotted with bushes, and then a widely-spaced row of trees, and then the land dropped away abruptly into a ~30m slope that ended in a wide expanse of slums and then beach, and then ocean. It was at the inner curve of a wide bay, so you could look out and see down to the big mall there, and then the other end was low hills on top of the cliff, and in the middle -- right underneath the sun -- was a huge trio of small rocky in the water.
We sat down on the grass and they smoked, and then we spent a while looking up at the clouds and trying to figure out what the mysterious black dot in the sky was. Once the sun was mostly down, it got chilly, so I curled up against Raul, and after a while Karla flopped down against my knees so I could play with her hair, and it was very peaceful and quiet and just … nice. Also, a lot warmer than I had been before. I wasn’t worried about “oh god what if this is weird what if I’m violating some sort of bro code what if I’m making them both uncomfortable” and Raul commented on us being a weird group of people but that was it. We talked for a few minutes, and then it got actually cold so we brushed ourselves off and left the park. We didn’t talk much while we were walking back afterwards, but it wasn’t an awkward ran-out-of-things-to-say silence, it was just more of that peacefulness. And then I took the bus with Karla back to her house, and we had dinner with her family, and then I went to the airport.
This isn’t really anything. I can’t really tell it as a fun uni story, because it’s pointless and there’s no drama or conflict. It was just unexpectedly perfect, best-case scenario that I normally just daydream about.
Sunday was my last day in the city where I go to university, and I won’t be going back for three months. On my last day, I went to lunch with two friends, Karla (we almost dated, there was poor communication and it never went anywhere, we’re still really close), and Raul (who was my supervisor at a summer job, and I had a weird crush on him for a while that’s mostly gone). We went shopping for a while afterwards, which was chaotic, and then I asked if they knew of any beaches nearby. We walked about a mile down a very pretty tree-lined avenue until we reached a wealthy residential area, with a big quiet park. We went to the edge of the park, where there was a perimeter path, an area about 10m from the path that was dotted with bushes, and then a widely-spaced row of trees, and then the land dropped away abruptly into a ~30m slope that ended in a wide expanse of slums and then beach, and then ocean. It was at the inner curve of a wide bay, so you could look out and see down to the big mall there, and then the other end was low hills on top of the cliff, and in the middle -- right underneath the sun -- was a huge trio of small rocky in the water.
We sat down on the grass and they smoked, and then we spent a while looking up at the clouds and trying to figure out what the mysterious black dot in the sky was. Once the sun was mostly down, it got chilly, so I curled up against Raul, and after a while Karla flopped down against my knees so I could play with her hair, and it was very peaceful and quiet and just … nice. Also, a lot warmer than I had been before. I wasn’t worried about “oh god what if this is weird what if I’m violating some sort of bro code what if I’m making them both uncomfortable” and Raul commented on us being a weird group of people but that was it. We talked for a few minutes, and then it got actually cold so we brushed ourselves off and left the park. We didn’t talk much while we were walking back afterwards, but it wasn’t an awkward ran-out-of-things-to-say silence, it was just more of that peacefulness. And then I took the bus with Karla back to her house, and we had dinner with her family, and then I went to the airport.
So nothing much happened, but it was important. I have a metric fuckton of social anxiety, and weird romantic feelings about multiple people, and a lot of fear of not fitting in because I’m awkward and also a transfer student so most of my friends have known each other for a while already. I felt very peaceful and content, and I want to feel shades of that more often.
